Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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