so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
