Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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