I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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