No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
