It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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