I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
