I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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