I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
