I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
