my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize