I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
