And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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