:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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