When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
