So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
