He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Who died my cat blue again?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
