I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
