Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
