omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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