now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
