R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
