She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
