K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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