living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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