okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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