Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
