Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
