Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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