"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
