Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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