I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
