erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
