you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
