you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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