Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
