if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
