I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?