I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.