Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
third nipple confirmed
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.