Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
