I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
