I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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