imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
is it fun? or sober?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
