he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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