This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
