I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
