All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
