he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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