Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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