Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
