She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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