Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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