I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
