We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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