It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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