Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
