i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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