I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
