so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
