yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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