Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
