Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
