Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
