This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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