You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
